Pick Up The Pace
by iopenattheclose280
Summary: He blamed himself really; reckless, stupid. Too trusting for his own good. Well... no use crying over spilt milk or otherwise. All that's left is to pick up the pace.
1. Chapter 1

**_D_** ** _isclaimer_ :** This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which only belong to the lovely J. K. Rowling. This story is created by this thing i call my brain and is only intended for entertainment by like-minded potter-heads and crazed fans. As such this fan-fiction is not a part of J.K. canon and i definitely make no profits from the publication of story. **However** , if this did belong to me, which it doesn't... **laughs like a deranged lunatic.** well... Enough said.

 ** _Warning_ : Mpreg up ahead/later on. if you don't like it, then don't read it. Also this story will have a mature rating only because i'am not sure how graphic certain parts might get. like i said no likey no readee!**

 ** _Part two warning_ : if you are under the age of 18 please immediately click on the back button. This is an adult fanfic that will touch on things like _rape_. **

**_Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

 **Chapter one**

His head hurt. It was that god-awful pounding again. That thump thump rhythm as if his heart was beating right at the base of his isn't likely he'll get any sleep anytime soon.

 _The pacing helps_.

The soundless beat of his soles against the hard wood of the Dursley home. Not his home. Never his home. His palm wipes constantly at the sweat that accumulate at the back of his neck. It's the Hottest summer since before he could remember, and he could remember a lot more then he wished was possible. Those painful hot summers weeding aunt petunias garden. Throat dry from lack of moisture. Skin pealing from heat exposure. His little fingers would ache for days. He never got as much as a thank you. Didn't ever expect it. ' _Freak's aren't good enough for thank-you's.'_

It's not like he could ever stay asleep. Sometimes it's the dreams that wake him, other times it's his uncles meaty fist pounding on the door, ordering him to _'shut up freak'_ His uncle should invest in ear muffs, his nightmares are far from over. Sometimes he would be back in the graveyard, Cedric panicked face, his parent's sweet goodbye, the knife sliding against his forearm. Wormtails disgusting pathetic face. It could drive any man raving mad.

 _The pacing helps_.

The dark shadows in the room wrapping around him. Comforting silence. Just like his unanswered letters to his two best right. One, a jealous git and the other a condescending know it all. Boy! could he pick them. Maybe they also believed the papers. Wouldn't put it pass Ron. Haven't heard from Sirius either wonder what he's up too. Save the guys life and not even a post. Harry shook he's head dismissively, Sirius had his own issues. After all Twelve years in Azkaban isn't like taking a stroll through the woods.

His scar itched; the sweat on his brow irritating it even more.

 _The pacing helps_.

The wooden desk in his room reflects its shadow across the moldy walls. It's almost day break. He's been at it for three hours already. He Should really try to get some sleep before his morning chores. Harry made his way across the room navigating to the small lumpy bed. His eyes squinting and adjusting in the darkness of his room. Pulling his legs to his chest as best he could under these circumstances, Harry closes his eyes. Just a couple of minutes.

* * *

The sweat had dried on his pale pasty skin by the time aunt petunia unlock his door. " Get up boy, breakfast should be on the table in half hour."

" yes, aunt petunia" she doesn't wait for a reply.

He made his way weakly to the bathroom doing his business and then using his hands to feed himself some water. The track down the stairs was even worse of a strain as going up. His limbs weak from hunger. He hadn't eaten but a piece of beard and some leftover cheese he'd stolen about two days ago. He was mechanical in his movement. Preparing the toast and scrambling the eggs. Grits would come last uncle liked them hot. Pancakes were Dudley favorite he'll have to make extra just in case he demanded seconds. All the while gently subconscious rubbing his hands over his stomach. Nothing could be seen of course but his hands felt what was there. No matter how much he'll Pretend it was nothing he knew, He'd known for a while. The pounding of feet moving down the stairs immediately had he's hands back to work. if his lucky he could sneak some bacon and eat the leftovers from the bin before his relatives could realize.

Breakfast was bought promptly to the table. Dudley already choking down his pancakes. Aunt petunia looking down at him with her long neck just daring him to try anything. Uncle Vernon luckily didn't pay him any mind. Only to insist his bacon was brunt and dock him eating privileges for dinner. Harry couldn't bring himself to mind

It's not like dinner would have been a king's feast. Well not for him at least.

The Day proceeds slowly, snail paced and daunting in its continuing heat and it's constent hunger. He could literally feel his bodies decline. His skin hot and flaky under the scorching sun, and aunt petunias roses often draw blood when he loses focus. Harry pats down his sweaty bird's nest of a hair. If he doesn't finish this before Vernon gets home. There won't be any dinner for him period. His knees creek as he tries to stand, slightly tipping over as his hands readily goes to protect his midsection.

 _This isn't going to work_.

Harry finds his balance almost heaving as his head spins.

 _This definitely wasn't going to work_.

He rubs his stomach subconsciously. He needed a plan. He needed to get out of here. And with that Harry readies himself for a long night of pacing.

* * *

Ello again Sweelings, hope you enjoyed this short per-view. Not sure if i'll continue on sooooooooo hopefully that decision is up to you lovely readers.

 ** _Word of the day is:_** **NO.** ever had someone that just couldn't take no for an answer? if yes then your amongst 99.9 percent of the worlds population. **No** , is a beautiful word. often use to illustrate displeasure and general defiance, as in ' I SAID **NO** Bitch...please remember to always say **No**. its a key ingredient to a long and healthy life.

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:**_ Grow young with me by Taliesin.

lovely work, but hasn't been updated since dec 201

 ** _Other useful things if you made it this far:_** I'm currently not sure where I'm going with this story. I've outlined my plot and know what I want it to achieve however, as most authors know, some stories usually write themselves. I look forward to playing with this plot and hopefully this story will open at the close!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

 ** _Warning_ : Mpreg up ahead/later on. if you don't like it, then don't read it. Also this story will have a mature rating only because i'am not sure how graphic certain parts might get. like i said no likey no readee!**

 ** _Part two warning_ : if you are under the age of 18 please immediately click on the back button. This is an adult fanfic that will touch on things like _rape_.**

 ** _Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

 **Chapter two**

Harry's exhausted by the time his relatives get home. He'd spent most of the day gardening, cleaning and standing up in a hot kitchen making a five-course meal. A meal that' s practically swallowed by his whale of an uncle and his overweight mini-me. And of course, he's left to clean up the whole mess after. Basically, an indigent servant. Pretty sure Dobby was treated better even with the Malfoy's.

Night falls quickly, He receives only table scraps; consenting of a piece of chicken left over on petunias plate and a glass of water from the bathroom sink before he's promptly locked up in Dudley's second bedroom. The sound of the lock being jammed into place is music to his ears, Better in here then out there. Harry's pacing starts anew, Ideas are thought up then discarded just as quickly. First, he needed to get out of this house. But how? Was it as easy as just walking out the door and never coming back. Harry stops pacing long enough to ponder, maybe it was that easy... If he were to just leave, where would he go? How would he take care of himself and the bab-

 _No_ , best not to think about that now. At least not until he had a plan. Could he go Gringotts? They had to have his financial information. Maybe his parents will? Something, anything to get him out of this hell. Harry's head begun to spin and he quickly tracks to the bed and fall-into a half awake half asleep state. He might have been exhausted because five minutes later falls into a deep sleep.

 _The dream takes him into a full room, its loud and He's socializing like any teenager would, he's generally having a good time. It's nice, he feels the weight of responsibly leave him for the first time in a while. At one point the music gets really loud. He can't quit hear what's being said to him but he nods along. But then his body grows heavy and He's head get's all fuzzy. He's being led._

 _ **Wait...! He remembers this, This wasn't a dream!**_

 _It's the Christmas ball and he's a Hogwarts champion. He'd been invited to an after party by the Beauxbaton students. The party turns out to be really fun but when it's time to leave Harry feels like his ready to float right out of his body. Maybe he'd drank too much._

 _ **Gods, he doesn't want to remember this!**_

 _He feels only like a passenger in his own body;The room is dark now. He can't make out the voices but there's hands on him, around him, in him. He screams. Pain, pain, pain, Burning pain. Someone laughs and he feels a hand go over his mouth. It hurts. He can't move._ ** _Help me, HELP ME._**

 ** _please, someone…...help m-_**

* * *

' **Sh-up...fre-ak shu-up'...** Harry comes to with a pounding headache, Someone's calling him. He takes a moment to find his equilibrium before realizing uncle Vernon is pounding on his door.

' **Shut up freak. Shut up**.'

Had he been screaming? His throat feels raw and his skin was pastry with sweat. Shit...that dream again. Or was it a memory. The night he chooses not to remember. But then again, he has too. How was he to face his on child if he couldn't move pass this hurdle? Yes,he was raped and yes this child in him was conceived in the worst way possible. But it was now his responsible to care for another human being. It was too little to late for regrets. All harry could really think about now was that he hoped to be out from under the Dursleys before the baby came.

That night...that stupid reckless night should never have happened. He'd been naive and arrogant; everything Snape had claimed he was. He'd been invited to an upperclass after party with the thought in his young tackless head that people actually cared. That his performance during the first task has somehow elevated him as a real person, he was now somehow more then the boy who lived. Now... he was a person that was worth inviting to 25, started with dancing, good times and lots of fire whiskey. The after party was just as fun but it wasn't till he woke up the next morning in an abandoned classroom naked and alone with a burning pain running up his spine that he realized something was wrong. The walk to his dorm room was agonizingly slow just as the realization that something bad had happened to him. Harry was no idiot, No matter what Hermione thought of him. Even at fourteen he understood that someone had touched him. Someone had violated him. But understanding and coming to terms with that was two different things. So, Harry brings in the new year in his dorm. Scared shitless, embarrassed and Ashamed hiding from bad decisions and even worse memories. Hoping to forget and never have to think of it again. Harry's was good at forgetting and even on a greater scale, pretending. So good that he doesn't realize that there's boys missing from the _Beauxbaton_ academy. a handful of them never return back from the holidays. If he had, he might have questioned why and that was a can of worms he wasn't ready to open.

 _The pacing helps_

And that's what he does. Harry tries to sleep three more times before he gives up. Sleep won't come and his stomach cramps from hunger. He rubs his barely there bump. A small thing, really. Unrecognizable at first or second glance, but when harry touches it he feels everything it could be. There's a push against his hands and harry smiles, _'are you hungry lovely, I know me too'..._ he worries sometimes; He was small for eight months. What did that even mean? His lack of prenatal care could honestly had harmed the baby. Honestly if there hadn't been any sign of movement harry would have thought the child had died. He'd been the most worried after coming back from the graveyard; He'd been dead on his feet, Limps shaking from the Cruciatus curse, Courtesy of Voldemort himself. It wasn't until two days after the ordeal that harry felt movement. Small at first and then strong kicks as if Jr. was letting him know that all was well. He'd cried then, Hard sobs and running nose. A realization that this baby who'd been created out of violence was kept out of love. Something the Dursleys were never going to understand and the very thing other then shame that kept him from telling a single soul. Deep down he wanted this baby, it might have taken him a little while to accept that but in the end he did.

He'd spent months trying to eat the right things, Stayed away from dangerous potions ingredients and... Neville, that boy was a recipe for disaster! But of course, he hadn't known he'd been pregnant until after the second task. Didn't find out until April really; he'd actually gone and looked up the pregnancy revealing spell himself. _'In your face Hermione!'_ It was a simple spell, a flick of the waist, an incantation and voila, rainbow-colored sparks would emulate from him his stomach for thirty seconds or less. And then he spent the rest of that day locked up in his dorm hyperventilating and the rest of the school year avoiding dangerous confrontations with the likes of Snape and Malfoy.

How he'd even had an inkling of what was happening to him was also the craziest story. Turns out Jr wanted to let his papa know that he was here, so one bright morning harry felt his kidney being rearrange by a forceful backflip. He'd thought death was upon him and a demon was trying to crawl out by any means necessary. What? Shit like that could happen! Truth is harry had almost wet himself from fear. He'd even thought about going too Madam Pomfrey, but decide one upset stomach wasn't the end of the world. And then every morning for two weeks harry would be awoken from his sleep by kick and flips. It wasn't until Katie bell mentioned her aunt's pregnancy that harry thought too check. It wasn't like it was possible, he was male and men can't get pregnant. It was supposed to be a joke. Cast the pregnancy spell and then laugh when it came out as negative because **men couldn't get pregnant!**

Let's just say no laughing was too be had. He never looked up any information due to fear of ridicule, Had no symptoms and definitely never grew any bigger then a small pot belly. Harry shook his head annoyingly, He could just see it _'boy who lived now boy who birth'_ something stupid of the like would give Skeeter the story of the decade. Something that would not only put a bigger target on his back but on his child too. Not to say that the Dursleys weren't trying their best to finish what Voldemort started. At this rate they would unknowably succeed in starving not only him but Jr too.

 _He had to get out of here!_

Any longer and the Dursleys where sure to kill him. _'Suck it up potter, Jr needs you, no use crying over spilt milk or otherwise'_ Another kick had him sitting too relieve the pain of small legs meeting his balder. Tomorrow, he'll leave tomorrow. Anything was better than this. He couldn't put Jr. in any more risk. Screw the Dursleys, actually screw anyone who'll tell him what to do with his baby. He was Harry James fucking potter and NO one not even Dumbledore can stop him from protecting his child. This life inside of him was all he cared about now. Harry smiled, hands soothing where the kicks were more active.

 _Yes, Tomorrow._

* * *

 _Ello my sweetlings, here's chapter two. hope you enjoyed because i'am definitely looking forward to reading what happens next. it's not as if know what going to happen or something...'wink' OW..eye spasm...give me a moment. Any who tell me what you think, does it suck, should i stop and if so NO..._

 ** _Word of the day is: Bye._** _goodbye's are such sweet sorrow's...but sometimes goodbye's are like popping a pimple or scratching an itch. it's so painful but so good. Don't ever be afraid to_ pop _that pimple because when it's gone you'll see how clear your life becomes._

 _ **Fanfic suggestion :**_ The road to ruin by Shadowblayze

Beautiful work, its a harry potter/Naruto crossover hasn't been updated since Nov 26,2016 read at your own risk.

 _ **Other useful things if you made it this far:**_ Later in the future, far from now i intend to eventually cross over this fic. This story will have been completed and hopefully will continue as a whole new squeal. Tell me what you think. I may or may not. You never know! the best stories usually Open at the close!


	3. Chapter 3

**_Warning_ : Mpreg up ahead/later on. if you don't like it, then don't read it. Also this story will have a mature rating only because i'am not sure how graphic certain parts might get. like i said no likey no readee!**

 ** _Part two warning_ : if you are under the age of 18 please immediately click on the back button. This is an adult fanfic that will touch on things like _rape_.**

 ** _Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

It takes almost two days.

The morning after, Harry wakes up too find that he'd overslept. Finally, a few hours of sleep. It takes him Five minutes to realize that it isn't that he over slept it's that aunt petunia hadn't unlocked his room door. _'Damn, it's going to be one of those days.'_ The whole family would be out so harry would be lock up until they finally decide to show up. He was so thirsty, his stomach grumbled loudly from hunger and Jr answers back with a kick. _'not right now Jr. papas thinking'_ It was now the first week of august and according to his own calculations he was due in September, meaning Jr was due in a couple of week. If he played his cards right he might be out of here either by tomorrow or the day after. Any longer and he might just try something crazy.

 _'How long until they come back?'..._

The heat in his room borders on hellfire. The window is kept opened but bared so a hot wave of air still finds its way through. Harry spends most of the day, Pacing. Walking from one end of the dusty, small room to the other. Stopping sometimes when Jr refuses the strain. Three hours later harry has to go… badly. How can one be thirsty and still need to use the bathroom? His dry chapped lips curl into a displease sneer, the likes of which even Snape would be proud of. He eyes the bin standing by the moldy unused bookshelf and sighs.

When his business is done harry renew his pacing. He doesn't know how long it's been but when the sun gets especially hot he'd curls on the floor by the bed and daydreams about leaving the Dursley, maybe even burning down the house on his way out. That makes him smile; He could just imagine uncle Vernon face. It would grow two times its size and resemble a spoiled eggplant. Those thought carry on until the sun sets and Jr had gone extremely restless. Kicking and pushing, no matter how much rubbing and humming harry did. It was probably the hunger. Before long he falls into his own restless sleep.

He doesn't come too until aunt petunia is kicking at his legs.

 _"get up boy"_ her horse face turns up in disgust. As if even touching him with her legs would give her germs.

harry gets up slowly. his head is pounding and he goes immediately to the bathroom. First Drinking what felt like a gallon of water and then Washing his face before going downstairs too start on dinner. Uncle Vernon is lounging on the settee, He's got a glass of something harry doesn't recognize in his hands while barely holding the liquid in his mouth whilst laughing disgustingly at the telly. Harry could see the spittle shoot form his mouth every time is larks. _'Disgusting'_ it'll be Harry's job to clean up after him before bed.

Dinner is served and harry spirits away half a potato, three carrot sticks from Dudley plate and aunt petunias uneaten chicken breast from the bin. He stores it in his unwashed pants, hopefully not too much lint from his pockets will get on it. He spends three hours cleaning up the mess; It takes that long because precious little Dudley decides to have seconds and so harry waits on him too finish before tidying up.

Its half past ten before his allowed to retire. His legs cramp from the strain of standing erect for so long, but the scrapes of his kidnapped food ease him into a dreamless sleep. Even Jr was content, his kicks sluggish and almost playful. Harry sleeps for what feels like forever because when is wakes up his can't remember what day it is or if its finally morning. He sits up and it takes him a while too clear his head of the fuzzes. By that time the sun has come's up he's ordered to make breakfast and then clean up the piss from his room.

* * *

' _This was useless'_. The same senseless routine day in and day out; by midday harry is once again lock up in his room. His relatives probably won't be back until later on tonight, another afternoon of pacing is what awaits him. There's still a lot of planning to be done so harry doesn't care too much about being locked in. Like honestly, what can a fourteen-year-old now fifteen really do in this situation. Pregnant male…. _'still weirded out by that'_. Abused by relatives, typical Dursley behavior…. Voldemort getting his body back…but forgetting his sanity in the process _(or most likely way before then)_ also quit mainstream. You see; it's all in a day's work. Oh humor…been a long time since he felt hopeful enough to joke. Even bad jokes are better than sitting around scared shitless.

Though, on a better note this could be his chance to leave! His legs carry him to the small squared window. It's a stroke of luck that enables him to see the ripples of a disillusion charm. Someone was watching him, and by the looks of it they weren't very good spies. After a while harry notices the spells unraveling. The sight of a short stubby man dressed in an ill fitted suit is exposed. His head is bald, shaven too the very root and his clothes resemble something aunt petunia would have made Dudley wear on special visit from Aunt Marge. He'd obviously slept in them on more than one occasion, he was napping quite soundly under the tree. Anyone with brains could visibly see his plumb waistline bouncing and jiggling too the tempo of his breath. Harry shakes his head amusingly; this bozo was either a low-level death eater or one of Dumbledore's moles.

A laugh erupts from him when the idiot, who up until now had been sleep standing proceeds to fall over, his head bouncing off the root of the tree instantly knocking him out. _Ouch…..._ He going to feel that tomorrow. Looks like he had a little too much to drink, he was Definitely one of Dumbledore's. Harry snorts, there was no way this could be a death eater; Voldemort would have had this guy's head a long time ago. But one thing was for sure, this gave him the means to escape. If his observers were as irresponsible as this moron then merlin only knows what levels of dangers he could already be in. A shiver runs down his spine, how long until death eaters come knocking at his door. Harry surveys his watcher for another half hour before a plan is fashioned. It's a half ass plan but he only needs a couple minute's, three tops…too get form his room to the back yard. All he had to do was wait until nightfall for the Dursleys to come back. But if worse comes too worse harry still had a chance of getting out; today was considered to be his third consecutive day without a shower and the Dursleys were sure to complain about his stench. He peeks out again to make sure that the idiot was still out cold. ' _Good_ '

After that, it was all just a waiting game.

* * *

The plan he puts in motion is a **Go** as soon as the Dursleys step through the first door. He marches confidently too his room door and proceeds too pound on the _(badly in need of print)_ door. The door visibly shakes under his fist and harry grins when he hears pounding footsteps running up the stairs or is it fluffing and puffing up the stairs. The plan he comes up with is simple really, distract and escape. His trunk would have to be left behind for now but his wand had already been switch out for a useless stick at the beginning of summer was stuck tightly against his waist band. He hid that and couple of pounds behind the termite infested bookshelves as soon as the summer had started.

The footsteps reach his door and harry immediately steps back, good thing he did because Vernon slams the door open moments later. His face is purple with rage, and his meaty fist go for Harry's shirt and literally lifts harry several inches off the ground. He goes limb, His uncle was no heavy weight champion but harry was also half starved and unwilling to take a beating especially not now.

 **"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat you bloody freak, you're an ungrateful, worthless little shit, and if you think I'll let your freakiness get in the way of my night then you have another thing coming…...**

uncle Ver-

 **"and let me tell you another thing, you should be grateful we feed you what we do…."**

Uncle Vernon…

 **"Already have too deal with your screaming at all hours of the night…."** Uncle Vernon continued rambling on, completely ignoring harry's attempt at explaining.

Harry doesn't think he'd ever seen Vernon this angry, his not sure rather too laugh or curl up into a ball.

Of course, the show must go on so he does neither.

UNCLE VERNON!'

Harry risks speaking right over his uncle; something that would often leave him black in blue when he was child ' _freaks shouldn't ask question'_

"Uncle Vernon there's a strange man outside, he's been watching the house all day…... I think…. well… he bows his head meekly

He didn't think uncle Vernon face could even get more enraged…. " **Spilt in out boy** " he shakes the fist that was still connected too Harrys tee shirt and as a result almost causes harry too puke up what little he had in his stomach.

Harry shakes his head too clear it from the surprise shaking… umm…...I think he might be magical. Harry whispers mysteriously, as if a conspiracy was at hand; the more paranoid his uncle was the better.

"I saw him do lots of freaky thin-... the way uncle Vernon drops him could be compared to a child flinging a rag doll. Harry could already feel his uncle voice shouting for petunia and Dudley. This was his chance…... _'here we go.'_

The moment Vernon is out of sight Harrys catapult through the house and basically throws himself down the stairs. His body already feels the strain of his hurry, he stops long enough to glance minutely at his cupboard; all his possessions were locked up in there. He feels the strain of tears behind his eyes _'he'll come back for them_ ' before long his closing the backdoor behind him running through the garden and stumbling a couple blocks away. If he strained his ear's enough he could still hear uncle Vernon cursing and hollering at the once invisible spy.

His definitely feeling the burden on his muscle's now because Jr decide to kick him in displeasure. He rubs his hands soothingly around the bruised area. _'Sorry Jr, had to be done'_ he couldn't rest just yet; pulling out his wand harry raises it above his head signaling the knight bus. It only takes a moment too appear and suddenly Harrys paying for his fare and taking a nice plush seat against the windows.

"Where too lad"

Harry takes a deep breath a smile finally gracing his tired battered face.

"Leaky Cauldron, thanks Stan."

* * *

 ** _Word of the day is:_** _**Drive...**_ to move, in order to get from one destination to the other. like that urge we get to do something worthwhile...moving and growing, utilizing that _drive_ to get from point A to Point B. But one things for sure, losing track of the map will always take you right back to the beginning. The drive is important but its the journey that that will have the most meaning.

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:**_ **Scandalous Affair by enchanted nightingale**

fell in love deeply with this fic, unfortunately it hasn't been updated since June 29th of 2015. Read at your own risk.

 ** _Other useful things if you made it this far:_** For those who's wondering i don't update on a schedule. chapters will be out at least once of twice a week. More if my thought continue to open at the close.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Warning_ : Mpreg up ahead. if you don't like it, then don't read it. Also this story will have a mature rating only because i'am not sure how graphic certain parts might get. like i said no likey no readee!**

 ** _Part two warning_ : if you are under the age of 18 please immediately click on the back button. This is an adult fanfic that will touch on things like _rape_.**

 ** _Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

Chp 4:

He felt numb. His skin itched and Jr. was still very much displeased with him. He'd kept the lighting from the candle in the small rented room at a minimum, and the bed, oh… the bed- was the softest thing he'd ever had the pleasure of laying down on. Thank merlin for Tom. As late as he'd shown up last night and there had still been a room ready and waiting for him. Dinner had been like haven on earth and harry swore Tom could tell harry was in a dire need because as soon as harry had walked in tired, hungry and on the verge of tears, Tom had just gently taken him by the shoulders and guided him to his room. Harry had cried Tears from relief, happiness or maybe it was just hormones(honesty harry found himself crying over just about anything these days). At this point harry couldn't give a flying hippogriff, Tom had gone above and beyond; drawing him a bath and summoning him up dinner straight to his room. _'Good guy that tom'_

The bath had eased some of the hurt's he felt since the beginning of summer but sleep still eluded him. He tossed and turned for most of the night before getting up too pace. The track form one end of the room to the other took longer than what his little room at the Dursleys would have. Giving him ample time to drive himself crazy. Usually it helped calm both him and Jr. down, but tonight it just made him anxious, or was it the fact that at any minute death eater could find and maybe even kill him.

Panic set in pretty quickly after that, Harry refused to feel regret, this was his life after all. He wasn't going to drive himself crazy thinking about what-if; he'd made the right decision leaving the Dursleys. It was nearly five-am when Harry had a light bulb moment. Why wait till tomorrow to go too Gringotts when he could just go now! It was a goblin runed bank, it obviously had too run night hours for other non-human clients. All he had to do was make it there and back in one peace.

The Panic leaves him for the moment, adrenaline rushing through his body making his head spin. It takes him less than ten minutes to get his clothes on, unfortunately he couldn't get rid of Dudley's rags just yet, he still had no other possessions but his wand. The thought of his trunk sitting in that dusty cupboard makes him cringe. _'He'll get them_ back.'

He greets tom downstairs…. the poor guy was up early and already setting up for the morning rush

"I'm heading out tom…."

"Sure, thing harry, be careful out there, been hearing bout a lot of attacks lately." Tom shakes his head woefully.

"Thanks tom will do. I'll be back later today…. don't wait up" Harry waves him off.

Harry makes it half way toward the backroom before tom's shouting his name

"Harry!"

"Tom…wha-?"

Tom's hands were clutch around a dirty rag his face seemed to age all at once. "Ain't believe nothing their saying bout you in the papers…. Your my number one customer since the day you walked in here, your parent were good people, they would be up in arms bout what Skeeter and the minister been up too!" Toms cheeks were red in embarrassment, but his eyes were stand fast, serious in his admission.

Harry sent tom a genuine tearful smile

"Thanks tom."

* * *

The walk to the bank was a quite one. Shops wouldn't be open till at least nine but the hags were already out, prowling for their next victim; something harry wasn't looking to be. He picked up the pace. Dodging shady characters and generally keeping his head down, no need to draw attention to himself. Reaching the bank proved fruitful, it was open. He moved passed the goblins at the doors and made his way straight to a teller.

"Harry potter for management please."

The goblin of course didn't even look at him, just nodded his head and waved over another goblin. They spoke in their tongue for a moment before the goblin leads harry into a hallway. Harry follows along curious and a little apprehensive, He'd never been too this part of the bank before. He spent the longer than usual walk counting his footsteps and trying not to look like an immature idiot. For some reason he had this urge to ask _'are we there yet'._ By the look on the goblins pinched face harry suspected he wouldn't be the first or the last to have that same exact thought. _'Best not too'._

The walk took him before a chestnut colored door, there was no name on the door but he was sure goblins could somehow tell the difference between their office or someone else. Before he knew it harry was sitting behind desk staring at what seemed to be the goblin in charge of his finances.

The goblin looked somewhat intimidating. His long string like fingers were locked together in front of him, and his eyes were staring unyielding right back into Harrys, basically willing him with his eyes to get it over with

"And what do I owe the pleasure of such an early visit Mr. Potter." He peered down at Harry with his dark beady eyes, making harry want squirm in his seat. "You may address me as Serkan. _'That was a surprisingly normal name,_ _maybe it translate's to something like Sharp-tooth in Gobbledegook'_ Harry couldn't help but grin, gods he was an idiot. _'pay attention harry'_ mentally slapping himself, _'merlin! it was all Jr fault; he obviously had baby brain'_.

"I am the goblin in charge of the potter vaults." The goblin oozed displeasure.

Harry rolled his eyes, he honestly didn't care who manage his money he just wanted to find his parents will. It could literally give him the means too finally getting legally out from under the Dursleys. He was pretty sure his mother would never abide to giving him over to the tender loving care of her wretched sister and her husband. There might have been someone else that was willing to take him in. Sirius wasn't an option for obvious reasons and the Weasleys already had too many kids to take in one more. Nobody how much molly would love to have him; he wanted his freedom but not at the expense of someone's else's family.

Harry reined in his temper, which hadn't been the best as of late; "Thank you for seeing me sir, I know i'm not yet of age, but is it possible to see my parent's will." Harry hoped his face was as pathetic as he wanted it to be. The goblin looked at harry strangely, shaking his head in confusion.

"Mr. potter, the goblin unclamped his hands and held in out in front of him, your parents never submitted a will."

"What!... He stood up from his seat, almost sending the chair behind him crashing to the floor. That's not possible, Dumbledore said...look again it has to be there."

"Mr. potter, the goblin started again using a more placating tone, that one would use for a toddler, my apologizes you don't understand…. Mr. and Mrs. potter came here a week before they were murdered but not too draw up a will." For an second the goblin actually looked uncomfortable; "They came, withdraw an undisclosed amount of galleon and then later returned with some family heirlooms, but not a will. I looked into it myself, I issued an investigation, considering theft and foul play but nothing came of it. Your parents never made a will, I believe they assumed they weren't in need of one considering they were under the Fidelius.

Harry sat comatose in his seat. Was his heart even beating- _'Jr sure was'_. No Will…. what were his parents thinking, how can you leave your only child without a will? For merlin sake, they went and died without even leaving him with any piece of security besides money and a load of **worthless heirlooms**. So, harry did the only thing any normal teenager would do in this situation. He cried. The most heart wrenching, tear jerking demonstration of a pregnant hormonal teenager could give to the point of hiccuping. ' _Sharp-tooth'_ which harry had dubbed him, couldn't really understand humans so he patiently waited for harry too calm down before offering him some tea.

"Thank you, sorry for all the crying sir." Harry timidly wiped his nose on his sleeves. _'Way to go harry, now even the goblins think you're a nut.'_

"No need for apologies, just drink your tea." Stated the goblin, not wanting to be the cause of another human malfunction.

It was a long moment before the silence was breached. The goblin cleared his throat… a very human like response. "Now that you're here, let us go over your inherence, of course without your legal guardians no changes can be made to your accounts however, your student account can be handled by you today. Your parents left you three vaults, your student vault which pays for your schooling and everyday needs, an heirloom vault and the main family vault. You may as of today be allowed into each and every vault but nothing can be taken for neither the family nor the heirloom vault without reaching your majority." The goblin got up and helped harry too his feet, "If you will follow me I'll accompany you to your vault."

Harry could only nod not really paying attention just following monotonous behind the goblin. Barely jointing at the cart ride and not saying a word when he was escorted too each fault. It wasn't till he was inside his heirloom vault when he asks for privacy. Something had caught his eye, something huge. He vaguely remembers asking _'Sharp-tooth'_ to wait outside before making his way towards the far wall. Walking around scattered pieces of furniture and almost tripping over a chipped mirror. It wasn't until he was running his hands over his own name that he knew what he was looking at. It was a tapestry. More specifically the Potter family tapestry. He could make out his grandparent's names, from them his father's name _'James Potter'_ a line was drawn from his name too his mother _'Lily Marie Potter nee Evans'_ his fingers followed the line lending too his name and then –there right were the next generations of potters would be was a faint line _"male heir unnamed'_ Harry's heart skipped a beat.

Jr... he was basically seeing his child. This was real. His palms immediately went too sooth over his middle. _'You're real.'_ Harry wouldn't admit it but he stayed in that vault and half crying and laughed like a manic for a full five minutes before leaving. Subconsciously ignoring the line connecting too his unborn child's name indicating who the father was. No need to open that can of worms.

He meets the goblin at the entry of his vault, no words were exchange during his ride up to the surface. Pleasantries were exchanged between the two and harry dejectedly makes his way out of the bank. He supposed something good came of this. Jr was real, real legal proof that his child wasn't just some alien. Not that he hadn't known; Jr. made sure of that every day with all his insisting kicking. But now he could see it with his eyes. Jr was a boy. A small human being that would be his too care for, his too love, his to protect. His parents hadn't made a will but he wouldn't dare to make the same mistake; as soon as Jr. was born harry was drawing up a will. Something that would protect Jr from falling into the hands of people like the Dursleys.

He didn't realize when his legs carried him back to the leaky cauldron or when Tom welcomed him back. His only thought was that soft bed waiting for him. He didn't remember stripping off his shirt or climbing into bed.

He woke up too Tom shaking him…

"What is it Tom…...harry asked ready too roll over go right back to sleep.

"Lad I'm really sorry but…... these fellas here won't take no for an answer. Harry peeked his head from under the covers. The sight of tom's irritated face made him relax some. Death eaters were not upon them. When is looked beyond Tom is could just make out Lupin's tired face, along with mad-eye, there was also a women with flaming pink hair that he couldn't place. He sighed dramatically, his heart racing. Lupin looked on worriedly and mad-eye just carried on watching and mumbling too himself about security.

"Thanks Tom I'll take it from here." Tom watched them cross-eyed for a couple seconds before nodding, walking out and closing the door behind him.

Harry dropped the corners of the covers back over his head. Admittedly not taking the time to check if they were really who they said they were. If they've been death eaters, harry was sure he and tom would have either been kidnapped or dead.

"Boy! where on merlins hairy back have you been." questioned mad-eye; Do you have any idea how many people have been out searching for you." Even Lupin couldn't help but show his annoyance.

"What do want" …. his tone careless and abrupt.

Lupin being the one who knew harry best spoke first, obviously worried about his best friend's son.

"Harry, we've been worried sick. Remus goes too sit on the end of the bed, rubbing both his hands together, you could see the worry lines etched into his forehead. Harry was still huddled under the covers. "What's it too ya" he knew he was being childish.

"Harry what's happened to you? you've been missing a full day"

When it looked like harry wasn't going to respond Rumus continued

"Harry, this is serious". Remus runs his hands through his mousey colored hair, in the background harry could hear mad-eye urging them to hurry up.

"Harry? Please", another sigh was heard from across the room. Remus didn't want to break it too harry this way but time was running out.

"Harry your relatives were attacked last night."

"What!" Harry uncovered his head so quick the bed shock almost unseating Rumus who caught himself before his knees could meet the hard floor.

harry ignored the grasp he heard from across the room and the way Remus stared at him

"Are they dead?" ... Remus looks at harry for a long second before answering. "No, but harry- your uncle's been kissed"

* * *

 ** _Word of the day is:_** **FINE.** _That simple generic word that could mean just about anything. it could mean, 'i'm doing okay thanks' or it could mean something like 'life sucks leave me alone you Ass' Which ever one you fancy today please remember to always use your manners. No one like's a party pooper._

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:** Dog days by Hermionechan90_

 _Great read, updated Apr 11,2016. read at your own risk._

 ** _Other useful things if you made it this far:_** So, you must be thinking four or more days without an update! No worries i would never abandoned a story even if i've lost my muse. The fact of the matter is that i don't update on weekends. like i said updates will be twice a week. I take my time to really go over the chapters i submit. Please make sure to let me know if i missed something, sometimes i tend to miss the little things when i open at the close.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

 **Chp 5**

Harry dropped himself flat on the bed from his sitting position. His mouth opening and closing wordlessly "How in the world did Dementors get too privet Drive? I knew I wasn't safe there! I told Dumbledore I wasn't safe there! and did he listen! No! no one listens to me, apparently, I'm raving mad!" Remus who was still sitting on the bed just looked on as harry raved. Mad-eye was smirking and nodding along.

Harry…. we need to go, you have to come with us. Your aunt and cousin have left for your uncle's sister. Their be much safer with your aunt"

"Like I was safe there?"

Harry pretended not too see Remus flinch. Who are you? His glance fell to the pink headed women by the door. She looked a little young too be an Auror. He watched as a grin melted into her face and her hair light up bright green before setting once again on pink.

Wotcher, Harry the names Tonks…. I'll be your body guard until further notice. I'll fellow you everywhere, except of course the bathroom…. that would be weird, and I'll also be stuck with his guy, her thump sticking out and pointing too mad eye who rolled his eyes as strangely as that sounds.

Mad-eye check's his watch before taking out an broken bottle, "time to go lads... times a ticking"

"Go where exactly?" Harry was already reaching for his wand. His shirt laying on the opposite side of the bed and was hastily thrown on. He'd slept in his pants so there was no need to look for them. He soothed his hands over his stomach as if checking too make sure everything was in place.

"You'll see boy, just get over here... all of you. The clocks ticking, we have two minutes till this port key goes off. Now come on huddle together. Mad-eye made an show of dangling the port key over his head.

"Nonononono… Harry put his arms up making in x, "nope I refuse", his heart couldn't be pounding more loudly then it was now. "Harry!, we have to go". The words rushed from Remus mouth "Just for a second could you please just listen too me." The look on Remus face could only be described as exasperated.

"I said NO…...if you want me to leave with you then It won't be with a port key, that things a death trap I don't trust them." Mad-eye laughed a raspy thick laugh if it could be called that, it was more like nails on chalkboard.

"I like you boy, smarter than the lot of them…. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!", Yes thought harry let them think he was paranoid; it more like port keys could more or less damage Jr. something he wasn't willing to chance.

"Pardon,... but we have to leave now. The port key is easier, we'll get there as quickly as possible." Replied Remus now he was starting to look a little worried. Harry was fighting them a little too much tonight.

"Their also traceable" shouted harry "that's exactly what death eaters would expect us to do. "

"All right Harry", said Tonks looking as proud as a new parent. "We'll make an Auror out of you yet." She smiled cheekily at Remus who scowled. "Don't encourage him on Nymphadora- "

"Don't call me Nymphadora", her hair changing from hot pink to fire red.

Alright, alright children the boy's right, we can't floo for obvious reasons so there only one option left.

Rumus cringed and Tonks cheered happily forgetting she was in fact a grown-up, harry who was still looking... eye's wide in confusion just laughed.

 _'He liked her.'_

* * *

It'd been hilarious. Remus flying from one half of the knight bus to the other was an sight too see. Harry on the other head had paid extra for a sticking charm. They've all left the cauldron disillusioned leaving a nice tip for old Tom before hailing the knight bus. Mad-eye checked the bus before clearing them too enter. You could see his eyes circling around in his socket, _'was it possible for him to see through people too?'_ It was a fifteen-min ride that harry enjoyed quite happily he spent most of it laughing as Tonks slide cheerfully from one end of the bus to the other, even making it too the ceiling once or twice. Remus on the other hand seem less than delighted, his face turning all sorts of colors but mad-eye kept checking the windows and asking Stan a whole bunch odd questions. When they finally reach their stop it was in the middle of London. They kept themselves disillusioned and continued on for another 30 min before finally making a left into a secluded neighborhood. The townhouses all looked the same all that was different was the numbers etched on the doors. 9, 10, 11 until they came to a stop. Harry stood in front of 11 and 13. There was some shuffling before a piece of paper was shoved into his hands

"Read and memorize this harry" came Remus unruffled voice. Harry shock his head at the strangeness of it all but did as he was told. When he was done the paper was snatched out of his hands and burned.

"Look boy…. what do you see." Came mad-eyes voice closer than expected, he jumped a little but looked between 11 and 13…... "what-… his words were grasped right out of his mouth when right before his eyes 11 and 13 parted and number 12 was seen looming and gloomily over their heads. Harry shock his head in disbelief, mouth open in amazement. _'Magic was so cool!'_

"Come on now…. up you get hurry, get inside quickly!." Both Remus and Tonks gently half shoved and half guided him up the stairs and through the door. Tonks might have tripped on something because she goes down hard, almost dragging harry with her if it hadn't been for Remus holding him up.

The noise causes something like a domino effect because the pounding footstep against hardwood floors could be heard approaching quickly. Moments later you could see several people come running. Some with wands and others with only sleeping gowns. It was late after all. Somethings falls behind him and harry hears yelling start anew. Whatever screaming could probably be heard from miles away. Looking back harry caught a glimpse of a very enraged painting, it Shouted about mud-bloods a blood traitors. He shakes his head already he felt out of his elements.

Harry spots the twins leaning over the second-floor landing and waves getting a cheeky salute in return.

He laughs oddly feeling right at home. He ignores the stares he gets, knowing full well that he looked like shit run over. Mrs. Weasley basically suffocate him with her air restricting hug and just before Ron and Hermione could bum-rush him, harry spot's Sirius. He along with another fellow were struggling too close the curtains over the raging portrait. It was resisting quite thoroughly, it looked like a poorly mashed game of tug-a-war. When Sirius finally spots harry it's like harry knew everything would be fine.

Harry lunches himself into Sirius's open arms. His head barely reaching his shoulders. His arms cling too Sirius like a child too it's favorite stuff animal. Sirius being Sirius clings right back, Harry doesn't know what happens next but he knows he really scares Sirius shitless when he starts too hiccup leading to a full-on sob fest. His noise leaks and his hands shake. Even his head starts too spin. At one point Sirius takes harry into the sitting room. Pulling harry down onto the settee and just holding him, running his hands through his tangled wild hair like a parent would for his extremely distraught child. They stayed like that for a long time. Neither noticing when people come and go or when Mrs. Weasely lays a tray of sandwiches on the coffee table for them. All harry could think was that Sirius was here with him and that meant, things were going to be just fine.

* * *

 _ **Sirius**_

 _Disgusting_ , all of it was the disgusting, the house, the mold, that dumb elf kreacher. Even this war that was coming was disgusting or will be once people start going missing and hopefully by then the ministry would have started thinking with something other than their asses. He paced soundly across the floor of the sitting room one of which had been cleaned out by the Weasley matriarch, sometimes he even thought she was disgusting with all her cleaning and yelling and nagging. She pushed him around like he hadn't thought to clean the house, it was his house after all. It's just that every time he gets it in his head too clean something comes up. It wasn't his fault this place was disgusting filled with all sorts of dark artifacts. From cursed books which the library was full of too cursing portraits. It wasn't like he could leave, and go where, too Hogwarts? Sirius snorted, maybe he could take Remus along on the full moon and terrorize some people _'yeah right'_

It Would never be like old times, where he James, Remus and even that disgusting rat Peter could do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. Remembering those days always bought back the best memories. Memories he'd thought the Dementors had taken from him. The memories he was sure he would never be able to feel anything for. And for a while it was like that. When happy memories could only bring pain and regret but little by little those memories became something he could cherish once more. Day by day he felt more like the Sirius black he remembered. The Sirius black who cursed his family good riddance, spat on his mother's grave and told the dark lord too kiss his sexy ass. Sirius smirked he had actually told the dark lord too kiss his ass once, story for another day. He knew he would never completely get his mind back but he figured whatever he had now was just fine by him. Looking at Remus now Sirius could see he wasn't the only one still stuck in the past. Remus who'd always been dealt a bad hand was old, older than what he should look like, looked even older then Sirius who spent 12 years in Azkaban.

But now Sirius had one thing on his mind, Harry his godson. The sweet boy who once laughed so free and wild and had the makings of a marauder. The boy who Sirius should have taken care of if he hadn't been carless, been stupid. He'd had one job and he failed miserably. But now, even when harry was with him he couldn't help but think something had to be wrong. Harry who'd cried himself too sleep. The boy who'd spent the last three days walking around listlessly like a ghost only coming out too chat with molly's twins. Something he was glad for, now those boys weren't disgusting. He'd heard them plotting once or twice too many to know that they were already the beginning of the second generation of marauders. He smiled, James would have loved them. But James was gone.

All that was left was him, Remus and the ghost of the past. The ghost that hunted them both, memories. Both wanted and unwanted. Both cherished and discarded. And now harry was hurting, another person Sirius just wouldn't fail. He spent the last three days right up under harry. He'd given up his room and bed changing into pad-foot and sleeping at the foot of the bed. he'd practically mother hen'ed the boy, stuffing him with food, following him around. He even took it upon himself to suffer through Harrys nightmares. Shivers run through his body and Sirius hoped too Merlin that harry would fight through whatever was plaguing him. He wished like a dying man on death roll that Dementors could take bad memories instead of the good. But they didn't and something was wrong with Harry. Something was wrong with his godson. And he would get too the bottom of it.

"Remus? Sirius called out too him. having been contemplating asking Remus this for a while.

Hmmm, replied Remus his eyes firmly on the open book in his lap. He'd been at it since this morning. The black library was full of lovely dark books. Remus being a scholar was never deterred away from information good or bad. "How bad is a bad nightmare?" Sirius asked hoping that Remus would have the answers like he always seemed too.

"Well, how bad are we talking? These night terror that could cause self-harm and then there's regular nightmares that only last for an little while before the body comes too." Remus eyebrows arch questionably "are you okay?, do you need dreamless sleep."

Sirius shook his head in a negative, "No not me…. Harrys been having an hard time sleeping, hell- the kid hardly sleeps a full night before I have to shake him awake. Is it normal, I mean…should it be that bad. For god's sake, he saw his class mate die, he was tortured. Fuck Remus I don't know what to do. I feel useless. I can't even help my own godson. What the hell I'm I good for. Sirius throw himself into his seat, his demons raising like a bad after taste in his mouth, residue of years of Dementors rearing its ugly head.

Remus kept silent until Sirius got his breathing back in check, "Sirius, harry…Harrys a growing boy, he's a teenager, with a lot going on right now. His being hunted by a dark lord, more or less fighting for his life. What would you expect. His reliable too have about a thousand meltdowns and outbursts before the summers up. I don't think you should worry so much." Remus smiled one of his smiles, the one that always graced his lips when he was remembering something.

"I remember you having the same attitude back then, you were careless, arrogant and a right Perv." They both laughed still reminiscing about the good old days. When James would chase after older seventh yr. girl and they would watch him get rejected time after time. When peter would camp in the kitchen hoping to be the first to get the good stuff. When Sirius would drag all four of them to the hogshead to flirt with the serving girls.

"You were a right bastard when you wanted to be. Nothing was ever enough; no prank was ever too much" the quite in the room was stifling now. Both remembering events they wished never transpired. "I'm Sorry, I don't know how many years I'll have to beg you too forgive me but I will for the rest of my life" Sirius watch Remus who was looking away from him. his eyes unfocussed and pained "Don't…. I'm already spending the rest of my life apologizing for never fighting harder for your innocence, I think were even."

They were quite for a long time after that, both waiting for the other too break the silence.

"Did James and lily ever mention a will?" Remus stared into space for a long time, as if the answers were written out for him. "No, nothing was mentioned to me, everyone was so suspicious about everyone back then. Even we were cautious around each other." Remus slides his hands through his hair a nervous tick Sirius attributed to stress and worry.

"Why, did you find one?" Sirius shook his head "No and that's the problem…..what the hell was James thinking not leaving a will", even his bitch of an mother left a will as crazy as she'd been during the last days of her miserable existence.

"Do you know how much stress could have been avoided if he'd just written a will, I would have been a free man, harry would have been raised by good people, Peter would be in prison. So much time wasted and now Harrys…...now Harrys not himself, maybe he'd never been himself. What is this Remus? What should I do now, how can I help him?" Sirius look blankly straight ahead, he was one problem short of wrapping harry in bubble wrap and keeping him that way. Forever. Remus could only shake his head solemnly "just give him time Sirius…. Give him time."

* * *

 ** _Word of the day is:_ Lonely. ** I remember when i was a child and of course children played with other children but i remember always feeling out of place. Alone in a crowded room no matter what i did i always felt like something was wrong. And then i grow up and i realized that it wasn't me, not one bit. Sometime's the feeling of loneliness attributes to being with the wrong people. So children, that's why the option of choose was created why hang out with a bunch of people who could only make you feel unnatural. Go out there and find the ones who truly make you feel right at home.

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:**_ **Session Transcripts by lastcrazyhorn**

The feels were real with this one. Last updated jul 8 2017. Your in luck.

 ** _Other useful things if you made it this far:_** Question i've been asked. The answer is simple. writing days! I have writing days and posting days. Always keep your personal life out from under your professional life. a mixing of the two will often leave you stressed out, not knowing where you open or close. Remember children a hobby's are just that hobbies. It just so happens that writing is one of mines, just as cooking, arts or music could be yours. But the beauty of a hobby is that its mostly to relieve stress so Please treat your hobby's with the respect it deserves because the last thing you want to do is ruin it by turning it into something to be dreaded, a lot like a job.

 _The last thing you want to do is close your life before you open it. Now that would suck. Cheers!_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

 _ **Severus**_

It was the tenseness in the room that annoyed him, _'really what the hell would they need to be tense about, it was't like they were the death eater spy that was risking his life day in and day out to get them much needed information.'_ Severus sighed inwardly. There were people every which way, order members who sought too engaged him in conversation were immediately disregarded. His long cloak trailed sternly behind him. he had this burning desire to push and shoved at them like some prepubescent teenager, not unlike that reckless potter who'd sent them all on a goose chase with his disappearing act. Severus couldn't help but sneer at the thought of petunia Dursley and her now brain-dead husband. The muggle's of course didn't understand that Vernon Dursley no longer had a soul, _'not too say he ever did'_ but now he was even worse than the Longbottom's who at least were still alive.

 _'Honestly, didn't these people have jobs, families…A life'_ Severus thought venomously as if made his way to a secluded corner of the sitting room. He watched as Molly and Arthur Weasley take their seats closer to the door's. He thanks the gods they'd thought to stop at seven, merlin knows Hogwarts couldn't take another loud mouth busy-body. Across from the Weasleys were kindsley shacklebolt, Arabella Figg, Dedalus Diggle ' _older then dirt that bloke'_ Elphias Doge sat to the left of him followed by Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones and of Course Molly's older children Bill and Charlie who were in attendance having taken leave from their jobs to be here. Honestly Severus hadn't expected a full order meeting, Albus who still hadn't shown yet was most likely anticipating a full report. Severus was not one to disappoint but fortunately or unfortunately the dark lord was keeping low, Severus himself had only been summoned once, even now he could still feel the phantom pain from the Crucio coursing through his blood igniting his nerves.

His hand rubbed minutely at his covered arm, not a day goes by that he doesn't regret ever joining such an mad-man. Back then when everything seemed more charged and his self-worth was not more than what the death eater's thought of muggle's. He would blame no one but himself even though potter and his little mini tormenters were one of the reasons why he wanted more power, more respect. And even after joining and forsaking lily's friendship and ultimately providing the dark lord with the information on the prophecy Severus could only atone silently and solemnly, bitter and cold always too sit vigil for a friend he wishes had stuck by him even when he was anger enough too spite her.

Severus tried to shake the memories away, outwardly watching as Black and Lupin took their seats. He watched them under hooded eyes and could almost feel the tension surrounding the idiots. The one who tormented him throughout his teenage years, not that he didn't gave as good as he got, and the another a beast who'd almost killed him. Severus could admit now that he was much too blame as Sirius for that incident. It wasn't until he'd lost lilies friendship that the so called marauders had started to leave him be and Severus could only watch as lily got close too potter, in the end he could never hate lily but he held some hatred for the way she'd left things. He who begged her too forgive him, begged her too see that he had only been angry. She who wouldn't even look at him. Sometimes he wondered if they'd been friends at all. Deep in his heart he wanted to forget that his mother had warned him, had explained to him that girls like that didn't want boy's like him. None of that matted now. Lily was dead, James potter was dead and all that was left was their son who he'd sworn he would protect. That's all that matted now.

Severus could have sworn the meeting lasted forever, Albus had shown up alongside Minerva McGonagall and a still seething Mundunger fletcher, _'the thief'_ and a limping disgruntled Alastor Moody Aka Mad-eye. The meeting lasted all of two hours. There was no new information and all there was too complain about was the boy who live, some like fletcher wanted him to be punished for running away and others like Sirius shouted back quite loudly about harry having a right to decide what he wanted. Severus spent most of that time rubbing his arm and sneering at anyone who gawked at him too long.

"So, what, is that it! Harry could have died, there no way I'm ever letting him back into that house!

Albus eye's twinkled annoyingly "there is no other choose Sirius the boy must be protected"

Sirius stood up so quick his chair wobbled behind him. "Who and what army is going to try and take him from this house" Sirius glared maliciously, that glare could've caused frost bite to even the cold hearted. "Anyone who thinks they can tell me what to do with my god child can get the fuck out of my house! Including you Albus"

Sirius! There were loud gasps too be heard from the many order members in attendance.

Severus himself was twitching to smirk amusingly, the look on Albus face was priceless. He wasn't sure anyone had ever had the guts to tell him No! so thoroughly. Sirius sat back in his seat his face pitched seriously _'pun intended' "_ you said he was suppose too be safe there, you said nothing could harm him, you said you had an eye out for him, you said some many useless things and now Harry's uncles KISSED!, why make so many promises when you can't even keep your word." He could see Sirius hands bunched up into fist, he was slowly getting in control of his temper something Severus thought he would never witness, but in his wake Severus could see something else in his eyes something that meant business, something dangerous. Poor Albus, he definitely wasn't getting out of this one.

"Sirius my boy-" Albus tried helplessly to placate the wayward black

"I'm not your anything Albus…. I said no, harry goes nowhere I can't follow. End of discussion." No one spoke for a long time after that even lupin who'd always been the level headed one was silent. Obviously supporting Sirius verdict.

"Well…. albus cleared his throat, "why don't we adjoined for now. Take an hour to reaffirm the situation. Let us meet here again half past eight Hmnnn." Everyone got up too leave most likely heading to the kitchen too munch on some of mollies left overs. Severus good as well,' _maybe a walk would clear his head_.' He distantly heard albus asking to speak privately with Sirius who was still seated. He passed molly who look disapprovingly at black at them. Severus ignored them all making his way from the first floor too the second. He stopped long enough too allow himself a small chuckle. Remembering albus faced was to later become his favorite memory. It wasn't until he passed the bathroom that he heard what sounded like a mewl. He almost ignored the sound thinking that black had finally gotten himself an animal companion, but something in him still the curious boy from long ago twisted the handle of the bathroom door and almost caught his death on something slippery.

"Help me, please help us…...

Potter what the hell! holy Mordred's tits it was potter!

Severus almost took out his wand before he realized something was definitely wrong, there was blood everywhere. He meant _everywhere,_ how could potter still be conscious. The air was so dense with magic that Severus disregarded all thought of using a lavation charm too move potter, lucky for him the women with the ever changing hair was coming out of another room, probably looking for harry.

"YOU! Help me with him…. she could only stare mouth open at the amount of blood seeping onto the floor and now onto Severus who was supporting his weight.

"NOW! Dammit, Tonks snapped out of her trance long enough to heave harry worrying small body onto her other side. They both tracked down the hall towards what they assumed too be Sirius room. The door was already ajar thus they easily carried harry onto the bed while closing the door behind them. Harry was obviously in pain; His clothes were a bloody mess and more seem to be pouring out from somewhere they both couldn't see.

"Merlin what do we do?, what's wrong with him!" Tonks was now visibly panicking. She goes for her wand hoping to try something too elevate Harrys painful moans. Severus almost sends her tumbling in his rush to stop her, "what the hell Snape!" Severus ignored her, moving closer too Harrys now trembling limbs. "Absolutely no magic, they air is so thick that any spell in his vicinity could explode and kill us all" Tonks face showed Severus that she understood... if he looked in the mirror he was sure they would look alike; both ashened faced,and sick with worry.

"Then what do we do?...we need a healer, somethings not right!" Severus sneered, "yes, I can see that" he thought for a second before speaking, "go and get black and only black, then fire call madam Pomphrey, have her come through immediately. GO NOW!" Tonks didn't have to be told twice.

Not two minutes later Sirius was slamming the door open his wand pointed at the ready.

Severus turned facing him slowly, "don't be stupid black, I know you feel it too. No magic or else boom" Sirius didn't put his wand away but now it was pointing downwards. Severus could tell the moment he recognized harrys small frame on the bed. His whole body goes rigged and his breath comes out painfully fast.

"Harry! Harry what is it, harry answer me." Sirius held Harrys hand tightly wiping the sweat from his brow, harry...

Severus watched as harry smiled. Something soft and sad. Something was not right, not right at all...

"It okay Sirius, i'll be okay." His hands tightened as harry winced painfully.

Running could be heard and Tonks reappeared by the door her face even more ashened than before.

"She not picking up! I tried three times, nothing!" Her breath was coming in rapidly as she too was on the verge of a painful panic attack. Sirius looked away from harry long enough to ask for writing utensils.

"Sirius! damn you, this is not the time for jokes" yelled Tonks." Sirius shook his head frantically "I need the paper too write out the secret." Tonks looked even more confused "what the hell for!"

Sirius looked away from her and back to harry who was now sweating and mumbling words none could understand "for your mother! she use to be a healer right? Get her here NOW" Tonks eyes widened in surprise before she was once again out of sight thankfully shutting the door behind her.

Everything happened pretty quickly after that. Severus helped harry out of his clothes only catching a glimpse of pale skin and jolting ribs. He was so thin. It only seem to worry him more. Tonks had already flooed her mother who was on her way. Molly had tried to gain access to the room but was fortunately denied entry, whereas Lupin joined five minutes into this fiasco; he too was holding onto Harrys other available hand. It felt like forever before Andromeda was upon them,she entered the room and immediately took charge, ordering hot water and towels, lots and lots of towels. she unashamedly ignored sirius protest as she uncovered Harrys thin naked body. Her hands and eyes going straight to the problem.

"Holy shit! is that a head?!"

* * *

 ** _Word of the day is: Tired:_** I was so tired this week that i almost didn't write or update at all. for lack of better words i just didn't feel like it. Word of advice if your not in the mood to do something then don't force yourself to do it especially if its something you enjoy doing. No need to stress yourself over something that should be a stress reliever.

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:**_ **Sien, Ilien** by **everythingispoetry**. I loved this fanfic so much. Some authors just have the talent to pull at your heart strings. This is completed so enjoy!

 ** _Other useful things if you made it this far:_** Probably realized that i won't update on a schedule, and it'll be slow going when it comes to updates for a little while longer. Most importantly thanks to everyone who commented and or sent me a personal message. Thanks! it wouldn't be so much fun to open at the close if it wasn't for you guys. _Cheers!_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

 **Chp 7**

* * *

 **Ginny**

Ginny prided herself on being and smart girl. As bright as her older brothers and as likely to succeed as Hermione–whom once again had taken number one on the Hogwarts top ten highest scores for the term. But Ginny prided herself on being much more then smart–she was beautiful, funny and was one hell of an Quidditch player. So, it was too her displeasure that she realized that harry potter-the boy who she'd dreamed of being her future husband, paid absolutely no attention to her. Zilch, nada, nothing…. he'd paid no attention too her during school hours, besides an awkward hello and was hardly seen long enough to have a conversation with. Honestly Ginny thought the boy who lived did more hiding than anything else. What was even more annoying is that even after having moved into Grimmauld Place, harry was still an introvert. He spent more time in the black library then with his own friends. Sure, once or twice she'd seen him with the twins but that didn't count, the twins were obviously up too no good. He'd even too an extent ignored Ron and Hermione, like really? At least pretend you're happy to see them. Ginny was a smart girl, which meant when the adults started running up the stairs frantically she'd known something was horribly wrong. And that something was named harry James potter.

* * *

 **Ron**

Ron didn't particularly see himself as a smart guy. He'd stirred through first and second year by the skin of his teeth and third year could basically be written off as a bad job. He may be a couple of cards short of a deck but that didn't mean he was in idiot, that just meant his brain processed things differently than others. So, when harry had shown up a week ago, weak as a weed and mostly withdrawn Ron had known something was up. He knew he hadn't been the worlds greatest friend but he still cared a great deal for harry. He also knew he was a jealous, stubborn prat but that also made way for his good qualities. Qualities that even Hermione once or twice had complemented him on. Evidently, even Hermione hadn't realize (or maybe didn't care so much) that harry didn't sleep on the same floor they did or that he on most days spent more time reading then talking. He wasn't per-say ignoring them, he was quieter, more calculative–which made Ron's harry senses tingle on more than one occasion. Which led to the most important question Ron has ever asked in his entire life. Sitting lazily in his chair stuffing what looked to be another chocolate frog in his mouth–Ron stares into space as if he were clearly seeing the answers before speaking.

"Think something's wrong with harry?"

* * *

 **Hermione**

Ron was an idiot…. Honestly! Who ate chocolate frogs so early before dinner. And another thing what was all that racket upstairs? Didn't they realize what time it was. Too late to be messing around, that's for sure. Really, Hermione thought sourly it was bad enough that harry was doing his whole teen angst thing, Ginny was mumbling too herself again! she was pretty sure the twins had let loose a silent but deadly frat bomb and Ron was an idiot. For a second she thought of calling he parent's and pleading with them too come get her but no– even with his social inaptness Hermione wouldn't dare abandon harry especially, not after what he'd been through this year. However, if Ron didn't shut up soon Hermione was going to do it for him. Now all that was left was too get the people upstairs too shut up too. Now that she thought about it, weren't they suppose too be having an order meeting?

* * *

Harry was an idiot– how in the world could he not have realized that he was in labor. Like really… jr had been kicking up a storm since gods knows when and the most embarrassing thing happened earlier that week. It had been definitely blush worthy on that same note, How do you explain to people that your nipples hurt! How do you even hide the fact that just that morning they'd leaked?...exactly there was no hiding anything. Harry will admit that he should have already planned this whole giving birth thing out but honestly, how do you tell your godfather that you were going to have a baby. So, harry pushed it too the back of his head until none other than professor Snape came upon the gruesome scene. Harry wasn't sure there was suppose too be this much blood… actually, harry was sure! this much blood lose was fatal.

It hurt something fierce! harry couldn't tell how long he'd been in labor or who was even stripping him of his clothes. What in the world was he talking about; He couldn't give a flying Hippogriff if he's clothes were on or off. All is wanted was to get this thing out of him! it was too much, this was too much! right then and there harry promised himself that he would never do this again, one was enough. After a while harry was pretty sure he was going to die. There were too many people in the room and someone was touching him down there…. _Wha…push–push what?_ What were they doing again? They wanted him to push…. push what? he wasn't sure but if it would decrease the level of hell he was in then so be it– harry would even push out a baby if they wanted! It was a lot of pushing and stopping and pushing again. Over and over harry pushed, sometimes he knew what he was doing and other times harry just went with it. Merlin, blood lose was a bitch. One moment he'd been pushing and the next he was on cloud nine. He didn't hear after that, some shouting; _Sirius maybe._ And then that sweet sound of crying was heard–harry smiled softly before closing his eyes. Jr was alive.

* * *

 ** _Word of the day is: Hard._** Work hard, play hard two of the most important parts of keeping yourself sane. Try and get them to coexist i'm a believer that there can't be one without the other. So play as hard as you work. We all know we work too damn much already.

 _ **Fanfic suggestions:**_ Poison Pen by GenkaiFan. Its completed so knock yourself out. Not literally... try not to do that, i hear it causes head trauma.

 **Other useful things if you made it this far:** you might have realized that this chapter is shorter than what i usually post. if you did then your right, it is. i've decide to cut the chapters in half. i'll still write full length chapters you just wont get to read it that way again. reason's for doing so is for no other reason than i'm working on something so i need to divide my writing days in half. Stay tuned whilst I open at the close. See you next time. Cheers


	8. Chapter 8

**_Other things that should be common sense but isn't :_ This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!**

* * *

He was dead….shit he was dead, so this was how he dies…...really child birth? One of the oldest ways too go.

Shit–thats orginal….and another thing are dead people usually naked? And what the hell was with all the trees…..

I think Its safe too say that harry was totally and utterly confused. He remembered panicked words and his body jolting forward, they'd been a pain in his chest and then nothing.

Hmmm….interesting enough is felt pretty good, aside from probably being dead of course. Waking up in some kind of rendition of the garden of eden was something too think about. And apparently people don't where clothes here. Another topic for another dead day. Honestly too tell the truth harry was pretty sure he was in shock. He had'nt even met the little person he literally died for, and then **boom** dead as a door knob.

Holy shit... he was dead!….at least the scenery was good. He'd always thought the Dursley's would be the one's to do it, can't be right about everything. This was a pretty nice garden, so many flowers of different colors spouting form all carvases, it was a pretty amazing sight. He crouched lazily against a nice cherry tree. Well, at least he thought it was an cherry tree….it smelled weirdly enough like cherries, _I wonder if maybe it tast– okay! Off topic. What the hell was this place. It was nice– yes, and he kinda felt like going too sleep, wait! Hold up…do dead people sleep?...stupid question harry…of course they do!._ And just as harry decide that it was okay too just give in to the urge to sleep something weird happened. Something like–his dead father walking out of the brushes from out of know where.

"ummm, Dad?...the look-a-like smiled a knowing smile."

 _'Hey, kid…'_

Harry felt like a century had gone by before responding

"where's mom"

James smiled, before chuckling knowingly. _'Your mother thought you'de say that'_

"Okay hold up–wait what?!...what the hell is going on…am I dead…you're here and your dead so that means im dead, holy shit im dead. Harry could'nt help the need too finally panic. He's dead and his baby–oh my god was jr dead too…oh merlin!

 _'Har..harr.. **HARRY!**_ ' the snapping of his father fingers in front of his face brought him back too reality. _'Your not dead…james smiled, and I surpirsingly actually beat your mother here', it's a one person per visit rule, and you might be thinking really I wanted too see mom'_ ….james rolled his eyes annoyingly his smile coming back full throttle, taking harry into his arms never mind the fact that harry was naked… _'this is your grandmothers prized garden. Thought you might like too wake up here.'_

Harry didn't quite know what too say, he wasn't dead...obviously his dead father was speaking too him, and he was naked. It just gets better and better.

He looked too his father who guided him over too the garden sittee which had'nt been there before. Still smiling and pointing out spots in the garden he himself had played in as an child, he went on an on about his favorite spots and who sirius and he had played the best pranks there. Harry couldn't help but think about what he missed out on.

' _Its beautiful is'nt it. Your grandmother traveled when she was younger. Every place she went she always took back flowers and then planted them here, these right here,_ he held up a weird looking flower–it didn't even looked fully bloomed yet, _this was her favorite. It was the best thing about this_ place _really. She was great, you would have loved her._ Harry lips turned up in an soft sad smile, it seemed their was a lot of things he would have loved.

 _'But that's not why were here is it. Oh harry.'_ He could see the pain in his father eyes, so many things better left unsaid.

 _'I am so sorry….your mother and I... were so, so sorry. There's so many things that we would have done differently if we've known things would end this bad. There's not a moment that we don't regret leaving you the way we did. You could'nt possible understand what type of war was being fought and in a sense neither did we. We were so young, so foolish._ James held Harrys hand in his,sneezing every so often. His eyes were glassy and harry for the life of him couldn't being himself too say a damn thing.

 _'Listen too me harry, family is the most important thing in the world. Your mother died for you and we would do it again in a heart beat but….if we could do it all again we would have let the the country and let Voldemort burn it too the ground if it meant staying with you, watching you grow, protecting you from the things that no child should ever experience.'_

Harry could feel his throat contract painfully, it felt dry and he was pretty sure his father might have felt the same. James cupped harry face in between his hands

 _'We are so proud of you. Right or wrong, grandchild or no grandchind'_ , Harry felt himself get all choked up there.

 _'We will always love you. Your mothers not here to tell you this so i'll do it for the both of us. You are the most important thing too us. You harry james potter, son of Lily potter and James potter, grandchild of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter and the most amazing, brave, compassionate person i have ever known and we will always love you– and as such, we will do what we should have been done years ago.'_ Harry wiped the tears from his eyes, clearing his throat before speaking

"and What's that?" harry relaxed minutely, still trying to control what little tears he had left to spare.

James gave him in the most sneaky and mischievous smile harry had ever had the pleasure of witnessing, this was defiantly the marauder smile. His father's smile transformed into something fierce, his teeth sharp and menacing. _'Were going too help you._ Harry raised in eye brow sniffling a little. _'Harry my favorite son in the whole wide world…(his only son) what do you know about Horcruxes'_

* * *

 _ **Word of the day is: Trust**._ Always trust your instincts. If your inner Sakura says Ummm... this is a bad idea, or Hmmm you see, I'm pretty sure that's not going to fit there... or say– inner Sakura says something like... **oh shit** he's probably going to kill you. Then yes! please listen to your inner Sakura also commonly known as common sense. Trust me we'll all be better off for it.

 _ **Fanfic Suggestion:**_ Tuna Fish and Red-Splattered Pages by Pitch Black Magpie. it's an amazing read, check it out. Last updated July 8.

 _ **Other useful things if you made it this far:**_ If you make it this far then, congrats hopefully you like it enough or not...thats cool too. Update's are slow because I'm working on something and i usually try not to update anything half ass but as of today this fanfic is a couple of chapters away from opening at the close! so say tuned. Cheers!


	9. Chapter 9

**Other things that should be common sense but isn't:** This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion, and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all!

* * *

It was the wimping noises that caught Sirius attention, the mix shift cot at the side of the bed could be seen from his resting spot across from Harrys still body. His steady heartbeat was the only thing that could convince him that there was life in his godson's very fragile body.

His breath caught in his chest as he remembered the near panic that was this room just mere hour ago. He could have cried tears of joy when Andromeda had finally shown up not stopping even to be surprised at seeing Sirius; she had quickly gotten to work taking charge and yelling out orders of 'HEAT THE WATER'….'GET ME CLEAN CLOTHES, QUICKLY!

The number of people in the room had been reduced to the bare minimum and seeing as Sirius wouldn't leave, and Severus was the only certified potions master they were allowed to stay. He remembers yelling for Harry to respond and watching as his cousin's face turn pale as she begun to couch harry through the contractions. After a while all he could hear was PUSH. PUSH. PUSH! And finally when he'd thought that his heart would stop she'd pulled out the tiniest thing he'd ever seen. It let out an eerie wail before abruptly quitting, the babe began to gasp faintly as his breathing became restricted his body slowly started to take on a blue ting and its tiny arms and legs laid limb like overcooked noodles. He watched with a sickening feeling in his stomach as Severus with all the poise and determination pointed his wand at the still babe and sputtered, the spell that inflated the baby's chest and with every inflation, the color returned to the babe. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

Andromeda didn't stop to think even as the babe was safely under Severus care, She still had a job to do, she had a patient to save. Harry had torn quite a bit, and blood was once again flowing freely from his birth canal. That was the thing with male pregnancy, it was so delicate, and without proper care, at least 45% of carriers failed to make it past the first trimester. She couldn't honestly fathom how this young boy had survived a whole pregnancy and the birthing. Good Merlin, the boy, was still fighting, and for a second his heart had given out and had she not been quick about putting him under status she was sure he would have died. Now that the babe was born, and Severus had everything under control she could work on putting the boy in a healing Como as she worked on stitching the tear that the babe had made with his urgency to get out. The room was silent and besides the swooshing of Andy's wand as she intricately switched tear after tear and Severus low severe rumbling incantations as he kept the newly born breathing nothing at all could be heard.

It was a half hour later as Severus was finally letting up that there was a knocking at the door. A soft command to come in was given and When it opened Remus was seen peering into the room from a small crack looking both hesitant and the most bone wary that Sirius had ever seen him. His voice cracked as he spoke "How's he doing, is he…" he didn't finish his question, but Sirius nodded once.

"He's still sleeping. Andy says that he should be in the healing Como for another day before letting him wake up on his own. Remus; Sirius' eyes teared up, and a sob escapes him; he paid Severus whose attention was solely focused on the babe in his arms no mind as he tried to explain to Remus how close they'd come to losing Harry, the last remaining descendent of his dearly beloved best friend.

Remus sat with him for a long moment as he watched Andromeda administer potion after potion. He could faintly hear Harry's heartbeat and that gradually over time put his mind at ease. He watched as after a while Severus conjured what looked like a cradle and placed the babe inside before adding several monitoring charms and then repeatedly double checking if it worked.

When he was sure that everything was stable Severus finally collapsed into the nearby chair. Exhaustion was written all over his face, and his robes were covered in what he assumed was Harry's blood, and his skin was even more pasty than usual. Remus watched as Severus' hands shook and he struggled to get his breathing under control, In the end, it was Andy who passed him a calming draught. He thanked her with a nod of his head and returned to staring into space.

* * *

It was much later as they settled into a vigil that Andy finally broke the silence. "Would anyone like to explain to me what in the world is going on here?" Her Grey eyes peered into them as if she could see into their very thoughts and if she had an uncanny likeness to his crazy cousin Bellatrix, then no one said so. She listened as the potion master retell the story of Harrys collapsing in the bathroom and of not knowing what had happened or what was happening until it was staring him right in the face. He felt useless how could he not have known that one of his students was with child, whether he hated potter or not didn't mean that he would ignore something as wrong as a child giving birth to a child. They spoke in hush whispers long into the night, the babe was tiny but with every hour grew stronger and stronger. By the time Tonks had brought up tea the babe was surprisingly breathing without aid and was showing them just how new and healthy his pair of lungs were.

"That's a good sign, spoke Andy quietly as she rocked the babe in her arms "He's well out of the danger range."

"What about his size-he's tiny" asked Sirius never prying his eyes off his godson's face for more than what was necessary.

"Yes, but that shouldn't be a problem answered Andy as she conjured the bottle that her daughter had brought up not more than five minutes ago. She slowly pressed the nipple to the babe's little mouth and watched as he greedily suckled.

She smiled at this miracle of a child and breathed in deep. "he's going to be just fine and so will harry. But I believe that the road to recovery will be a hard one. Now tell me everything starting with why I'm sitting in a room with a supposed serial killer and no one's calling the Aurors.

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed "That's a very long story" said, Sirius, as he reached over to touch the babes soft baby cheeks. He smiled softly before amercing himself and his listeners in the tale of his heroic, idiotic, deadly escape of Azkaban Prison.

The babe spent the whole night safely tucked in the arms of everyone in the room. Each would spend time holding him and soothing him as he whimpered or cried, already Sirius could tell that he would be a spoiled child. When it came, Severus turn to hold the newborn they learned that he was a good storyteller and his dramatic recapping of past potions mishaps was quite entertaining. They watch Severus Snape dungeon bat of Hogwarts show that there was more to him then harsh insults and traded barbs. And as the sun began to raise several more knocks would be heard but ignored in favor of keeping watch and when breakfast was brought up by Mrs. Weasley, they merely asked her to leave it by the door. The morning brought many new changes including the Appearance of headmaster Dumbledore whose entry was denied by a venomous foul mouth Sirius Black who promptly told him to fuck Off! At the bemusement of Tonks who had decided to spend the night. They could briefly hear the pitched voice of mad eye escorting Albus away as he updated him on yesterday's events.

There were more incidents of the like that accrued throughout the day, but the occupants of the room paid them no mind. Harry and the baby's welfare were most important; not Molly's hollering for them to open the door or Fred and Georges laughable attempt to listen through the door. By midday Sirius was pacing in exhaustion, Remus had nodded off standing up, and Severus and Andromeda were debating when would be the best time to release Harry from his healing Como.

"You must understand Mr. Snape, Harry's diagnostic shows quite some many years of abuse! The boy is severely malnourished! His bones are brittle, and his organs would have eventually failed him. How has this not been seen too or suspected, Merlin, knows the boy is lucky to be alive." Andy rubbed her palms across the babe's small puff of baby hair and sighed, the child had refused to be sat down and honestly Andy enjoyed holding him. She watched as he opens his little mouth to yawn cutely and giggled when she caught Severus enraptured look as he watched the babies every movement.

Severus turns away, cheeks red as he responds "Madam Pomfrey if you remember is what the muggles would call an ER nurse her expertise is not with daily pediatric checkups but with idiot children making a mess of themselves and of course spell damage. He waved his arm in dismissal and reached to pluck the child from Andy's arms, she gives the babe up with a pout but takes this opportunity to check up on Harry who was gaining color and had healed up well through the night. Of course, that kind of strain on the body would keep him bed bound for quite a few days but aside from the obvious harry would be fine. His recovery regime would be strict and hard, but she had a feeling that he would do whatever possible to get out of bed rest. Now the question was how this had happened.

"Sirius, had Harry been in a relationship of any kind while in Hogwarts? Sirius barked out a humorless laugh "Harry was always so stressed I couldn't imagine he had the time, but you never know I didn't even know that he was gay! If ide known I would have given him the talk, at least maybe this would have been…." They could see that Sirius was at the end of his rope. They all needed to sleep and the sooner Harry was on the road to recovery the sooner they could get to the bottom of this. So, with a swoosh of her wand Andromeda canceled the healing Como and settled down to wait. Only time would tell how quickly harry would recover, but in the meanwhile, Andy was in need of some cuddles, if only Severus would stop being such a hogger.

* * *

 **So, it's been a while but as I've stated no story shall go unfinished no matter how long it might take. Enjoy the chapter and look forward to constant updates and a finished story sometime soon. See you all at the flip side as I open at the close.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Other things that should be common sense but isn't:** This is a safe place. And as such the comment section is not a place for politics, religion, and judgment. Please respect each other and yourself by not coming off as an Ass. I appreciate all feedback including criticism. And remember children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all

* * *

His mouth tasted like Ass, was the first thing Harry thought when he finally came too. His head was pounding, and he felt the immediate need to shift as if his body had been standing or sitting still for too long. Harry, tried furiously to move his limbs and open his eyes, but they felt heavy, nausea rolled through him, where the hell was he and why does it feel like he just took the biggest poop. It was of course at that moment that he realized that he probably felt like that because he'd somehow given birth and as his brain started to reboot his need to see his son grew stronger. He forced his eyes open but all he could make out was darkness, he willed his limb to move slowly, and as he sat up he whimpered and fell back into the plush bedding. His mouth opened and closed in quite agony his; limbs shook with the briefest trimer, and he felt his whole body become over sensitive with charge energy. All he could think about was Jr and if he was okay, did they both make it out alive? He was hesitant to believe that his father ghost had been telling the truth and that everything would be okay.

He wanted to see his son, feel him, breath him in. The little thing that had been kicking him the last six months. Merlin, he wanted his son. His eyes were still closed tight in pain when he felt the bed dip and hands surrounded him as they helped him sit up. Everything felt sore, all he could do was lean into those hands and hope they wouldn't shift him too severely. He mouthed some words including whe-rre…J-r...M-y so-n. Before long he felt himself being shushed and laid down once more and when he thought that tears would escape him, he finally felt a soft tiny wiggling mass being press into his chest. He slowly moved his hands to cuddle the buddle, and unexpectedly he felt little lips connect to his naked chest; Harry realized that breastfeeding was a strange and oddly comforting experience. He didn't know how long he laid there and clung to jr's soft minuscule body careful not to hurt him even with how weak he was. He suspected that jr was exceedingly small and needed the utmost care. The hands from earlier were a big help as they supported both him and jr. as they got reacquainted. Before long Harry felt Jr's suckling drop to the slightest pull and then stop as it lured them both to sleep.

* * *

The second time Harry woke up he could finally open his eyes but jr was missing, and his body was still sore. He looked around the magnolia painted room and thought that maybe he should remodel his godfather's childhood home. It wasn't the best place or the safest place to raise a baby. He looked around his bedroom in astonishment, Sirius, Remus, and Severus were all passed out on what seemed like a poorly transfigured sofa bed. He was surprised they hadn't at least pushed each other off the uncomfortable looking surface. By his bedside was the bassinet close enough to lean just a tad to peer inside. What he found was Jr wrapped in a baby green blanket sucking on a pacifier. He smiled as Jr yawned causing the pacifier to tumble from his mouth, he whimpered a little before letting out a huge wail. Harry would have covered his ears if he could, but his arms were still frail. What ended up happening was Sirius falling out of the bed and dragging Remus along with him. Severus simply rolled over and pretended that he hadn't been sleeping in a dog pile with his childhood enemies.

"Harry! Shouted Sirius You're awake!" He shifted closer to the bed and wrapped Harry in a tight but careful hug. Jr, on the other hand, was still wailing, he was surprised when it was Severus who got up to get him. Harry nodded dumpily, as Severus leaned into his space and laid Jr against his chest.

"follow along Potter; this is how you hold a baby, don't drop him with your clumsy Gryffindor arms. He wrinkled his nose at Harry before resuming his lurking position by the window.

"Oh, piss off you giant dungeon bat! He'll get the hang of it."

"Well, of course, an ungrateful mutt like you wouldn't know anything about patient care, I'll be the one that has to deal with an injured mini potter and his emotional carrier when he drops him much like you were dropped on your massive black head!" Harry watched them trade barbs as Remus helped him get the hang of positioning Jr's head to his engrossed and slightly swollen nipples. He flushed pink for a moment in embarrassment before thinking nothing of it.

Remus smiled knowingly "Don't worry about it; you know Harry; I once saw your mum do the same for you" Harry blushed again "Jeez Professor Lupin that's not weird at all" Remus chuckled his eyes shining in repressed marauder mischief. Harry just smiled shyly, Skin was skin, and by this point, he was sure that Remus had seen it all during the birthing. He refused to be embarrassed by what he fault was natural, never mind the Dursley's and their unnatural way of raising him.

"Alright boys break it up, Harry looked up to meet the eyes of an older dark-haired witch. He recognized her from somewhere, could have sworn she had been in the room with him while he'd been giving birth and his suspicions were correct when she addressed him.

"Hello, Harry, I'm Andromeda Tonks, I've heard a lot about you. Your godfather could go on and on about you if no one stops him."

"Hey! Yelled Sirius from the foot of the bed that's Dog father to you." Harry chuckled at the crazy that has become his life. Andromeda watched the boy closely and moved towards his side to cast a few diagnostic charms.

"Now try to be as still as possible for me harry this won't hurt one bit, this will only check your vitals, and the babes is that alright.? Harry just nodded dumbly mesmerized by Jr and his suckling. He was so beautiful more beautiful than Harry could have imagined, how could something like rape produce such a beautiful child. He didn't know, and he could care less all he knew was that His baby was alive and well. Harry tranced Jr dirty blond hair with his eyes and shed a tear when Jr's eyes briefly opened to reveal a pair of bright green eyes…his mother's eyes. Harry didn't realize that he was being watched until Andromeda cleared her throat to get his attention. When he looked up all eyes were on him which only made him hold jr tighter to his chest sore as they were he felt a little closed in with all the looks he was getting.

"Harry?…can you tell us how this came about, I know this might seem sudden but…Sirius looked around to indicate his audience; were all very worried. You never said anything about any relationship, not that you had too…. I mean, of course, you don't have to tell me, I just thought-well…. but if you wanted to…. I would have given you some advice or something…"

Sirius finishes lamely.

Severus could be heard snorting in the background Sirius turned to glare at him before continuing "when you sent your letters…... well I didn't think you even had the time or whatever." Sirius rubbed the back of his head nervously, "and now you have a son of your own and...he's beautiful, Harry. But... it's just so sudden; you're so young." Harry how did this happen, why didn't you say anything" Sirius finished, his face pinched and pale.

Harry's heart hiccupped for a moment before settling down. He looked up at their faces and then back down at a still suckling Jr before sighing.

"How long was I out? Asked Harry, attempting to stall. Remus answered him first not wanting to rush him into anything.

"Three days. Harry's eyes bugged out of his head; "Three days, why, how." It was Severus that answered this time.

It would appear, Mr. Potter, that your body required farther time to heal. Honestly, good thing otherwise that Gryffindor courage would have you bed bond at every occasion." Harry chuckled at the professor tone of voice but couldn't picture him as the same dungeons bat after seeing him hold his son. They were all quiet for a moment as they watched Harry gather himself, the babe had stopped feeding, and now Harry was being shown by Andy how to burb the babe to displace trapped air.

They watched as he nodded along to her lecture on infant care and nearly laughed when Andy went over the afterbirth care including checking Harry's private area for tear's. Harry blushed a lovely red florescent pink but didn't protest. Afterward, food was brought up by tonks who was followed by mad-eye. When mad-eye finally laid eyes on the babe, he merely shook his head and muttered "too young" under his breath. They all sat around his bed as they ate quietly or in Sirius and Severus case baited each other between bites. Harry took this time to examine Jr ten fingers and ten toes, his puff of dirty blond hair, pale skin along with a pair of bright green eyes aside from those distinct features Jr looked normal and non-freakish. Honestly, Harry still had it in his head that two men genes might make a very unhealthy baby but, giving birth to jr. just proved to him that magic was awesome.

When all the dishes were put aside, Harry was then shifted to his side to relieve the pressure on his stomach from sitting up for so long. Jr was to his delight passed around the room and was held by everyone including mad-eye. Harry hoped for him to be back in his arms soon but as of now, he was too weak to keep hold of him for long periods of time. He waited until everyone was focusing on Jr before speaking. Harry felt like a coward by not being able to have their full attention on him, knowing he was supposed to be the parent, but instead, he was using his son as a shield.

"I wasn't in a relationship" The first to look up at him was Andromeda who he learned was a Mediwitch and had helped him deliver his baby.

"What was that Harry", asked Sirius as he looked up from the cooing Jr.

Harry shifted uneasily, he had never spoken to anyone about this, and if it were up to him, this would be the first and last time for the both of them. He didn't want to remember and hopefully when it was over and done with they would agree to let him forget it.

"I didn't find out I was pregnant with Jr-'tonks giggled at the odd name' until several months after." Harry smiled as he remembered the persistent kicking, It shouldn't have been possible men don't get pregnant…. I thought I was dying, that something was in there that shouldn't be. And when I did the charm, you know… the reveling pregnancy charm it was only meant to be a joke. Harry sobbed a wet humorless laugh. It wasn't supposed to be possible! By this point, Harry was looking and sounding hysterical, and the company in the room were frozen in horror,

"Men aren't supposed to have babies!….." he focused his eyes away from their ever-growing panicked ones. I didn't want this! I Hadn't asked for it. Every year is something! First the stone than a huge ass fucking snake, afterward when I thought my life was getting back to normal I learned that my godfather was a serial killer but not really because he'd been falsely accused! And when I finally found the one person who wanted me I couldn't even go live with him and then, fourth year comes around, and it all gets so fucking…..

Harry's chest was heaving, and by this point Sirius had him wrapped in his all-compassing embrace. He felt the rapid beating of Sirius' heart against his cheek, he used that too ground himself, and when Harry thought he could go on, he finally spoke.

"I didn't ask for this," Harry repeated, sounding like a broken record player. He took another deep breath before continuing; never reaching their eyes completely still tucked into Sirius' chest. The air was stiff with charge magic, he couldn't tell who that was coming from, but he wouldn't be surprised if It were Sirius. Harry turned his head from Sirius's chest to the darkening window, his eyes eerie with repressed memories, "The truth is… I don't know who did this, all I can remember is pain and laughter and more pain, so much pain- his eyes finally met Sirius whose body was strung of tight against his, "truthfully I don't think what to remember my rape if that's okay with you."

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Wow, I'm on a roll. I had a couple days off and decided hey what the hell! new chapter. looking forward to once more opening at the close with all of you.


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